So , this last Saturday I saw three things I'd never seen at the Races.
I enjoy watching Horse Races, No Expert, I still have seen them as a natural,well almost, experential phenomena.
well almost. Wes Snyder , who raced at Charlestown in the 30's, has his 97th birthday, and in one race, the horses placing second, ran a laser proved "deadheat". Then, Tragedy and Catastrophe.
There are many dangers in horse racing for both horse and jockey: a horse can stumble and fall, or fall when jumping an obstacle, exposing both jockey and horse to the danger of being trampled and injured.
Anna Waller, a member of the Department of Emergency Medicine at the University of North Carolina, co-authored a four-year long study of jockey injuries and stated to the New York Times that "For every 1,000 jockeys you have riding, over 600 will have medically treated injuries." She added that almost 20% of these were serious head or neck injuries. The study reported 6,545 injuries during the years 1993–1996.[40] More than 100 jockeys were killed in the US between 1950 and 1987.[41]
Horses also face dangers in racing. 1.5 horses die out of every 1000 starts in the US. The U.S. Jockey Club in New York estimates that about 600 horses died at racetracks in 2006. The Jockey Club in Hong Kong reported a far lower figure of .58 horses per 1000 starts. There is speculation that drugs used in horse racing in the US which are banned elsewhere are responsible for the higher death rate in the US.[42]
This was the 1st time I saw a horse Die, well have to be put down,for the Folly of Men. The Horse Fell on the Home Stretch, the Jockey took a Bad fall, but was able to get up and walk to the Ambulance.
This Exquisite Thoroughbred, however was Quietly Frantic, with it's Right Front Hoof/Ankle Dangling , a compound fracture, as it attempted to bolt.
It took almost 15 miutes to get the vet ther,to put this Great Equine, down by injection, on the track. The Horse Suffered.
This may be my last horserace .
Bill Swann D.O.
Most of my Platitudes have become my Principles , on occasion some Plagiarism ,Discussions on my experiences,feelings,thoughts,philosophy on Healing, Life, This Universe, Osteopathy, Tai Chi,Qi Qong, My Own Self, My Goals,My Life, My Relationships and how to be a Healthier,Better Balanced, and Genuine Person., All within the T"Theme of the Current Blog"/
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Tragedy
Tragedy
When you see anyone weeping in grief because his son has gone abroad, or is dead, or because he has suffered in his affairs, be careful that the appearance may not misdirect you. Instead, distinguish within your own mind, and be prepared to say, "It's not the accident that distresses this person., because it doesn't distress another person; it is the judgment which he makes about it." As far as words go, however, don't reduce yourself to his level, and certainly do not moan with him. Do not moan inwardly either.
Epictetus's admonition above ,from the Enchiridion,does usualy apply to daily affairs,
However, in the tragedy which occurred recently in Haiti, one would be
unkind to preach sucha perspective to those unfortunate people.
So, Our perspective of Loss receives a desparate reality Check,
when we even attempt to comprehend the nearly unfathomable loss which has
occured in Haiti. Nearly Unfathomable,because we have seen even only
a few years ago as similar tragedy in Indonesia withover 200,000 souls
gone from this earth. Over the last 100 years ,perhaps over a million
souls have been lost from this earth due to earthquakes alone.
Events such as this are dangerous to humanity in that we are challenged to
comprehend despair and loss at such a cosmic scale, which can trigger
depression and mental illness in those unable or unprepared to
compartmentalize or put such events into a mental locker that could
and should be accessed in more tolerable degress,hopefully with others.
For now, prayers, the sending of even small amounts of money to
reputable agencies able to offer assistance is a good start.
Later, as it sinks in, time initiates its march of healing,
forgetfullness or complacency one can relfect, that Also,
their are Billons of moments of Joy and Grace that occur daily.
FOr this we should also be grateful.
When you are going about any action, remind yourself what nature the action is. If you are going to bathe, picture to yourself the things which usually happen in the bath: some people splash the water, some push, some use abusive language, and others steal. Thus you will more safely go about this action if you say to yourself, "I will now go bathe, and keep my own mind in a state conformable to nature." And in the same manner with regard to every other action. For thus, if any hindrance arises in bathing, you will have it ready to say, "It was not only to bathe that I desired, but to keep my mind in a state conformable to nature; and I will not keep it if I am bothered at things that happen.
Men are disturbed, not by things, but by the principles and notions which they form concerning things. Death, for instance, is not terrible, else it would have appeared so to Socrates. But the terror consists in our notion of death that it is terrible. When therefore we are hindered, or disturbed, or grieved, let us never attribute it to others, but to ourselves; that is, to our own principles. An uninstructed person will lay the fault of his own bad condition upon others. Someone just starting instruction will lay the fault on himself. Some who is perfectly instructed will place blame neither on others nor on himself.
Don't demand that things happen as you wish, but wish that they happen as they do happen, and you will go on well.
Sickness is a hindrance to the body, but not to your ability to choose, unless that is your choice. Lameness is a hindrance to the leg, but not to your ability to choose. Say this to yourself with regard to everything that happens, then you will see such obstacles as hindrances to something else, but not to yourself.
Thousands feared dead in Haiti earthquake
By JONATHAN M. KATZ, Associated Press Writer The Oklahoman Comments 82 Published: January 13, 2010
PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti (AP) — Haitians piled bodies along the devastated streets of their capital Wednesday after a powerful earthquake flattened the president's palace, the cathedral, hospitals, schools, the main prison and whole neighborhoods. Officials feared thousands — perhaps more than 100,000 — may have perished but there was no firm count.
This photo provided by Carel Pedre shows people running past rubble of a damaged building in Port-au-Prince, Haiti, Tuesday, Jan. 12, 2010. The largest earthquake ever recorded in the area shook Haiti on Tuesday, collapsing a hospital where people screamed for help. (AP Photo/Carel Pedre)
MultimediaVideo
view all videos
Haiti earthquake registers in Oklahoma
Jan 13The largest earthquake ever recorded in Haiti registered on...
Photo
view all photos
Related contentLinksData Watch: Finding earthquake data on the Web
Red Cross: How to help
AP Interactive: Haiti Earthquake
More InfoHOW TO HELP
To donate $10 to the American Red Cross to aid victims of the earthquake in Haiti, text Haiti 90999.
NewsOK Related ArticlesHaitian earthquake registers on Oklahoma equipment
01/13/2010 The largest earthquake ever recorded in Haiti registered on equipment managed by the Oklahoma Geological Survey, scientists said. Authorities said the...
Do you have any relatives in Haiti?
01/13/2010 Or do you know anyone that frequently visits the country?
Obama promises all-out relief effort in Haiti
01/13/2010 WASHINGTON — President Barack Obama promised an all-out rescue and humanitarian effort Wednesday to help Haiti overcome a "cruel and incomprehensible"...
Text of President Obama's statement on Haiti
01/13/2010 Text of president Barack Obama speaking about Haiti on Wednesday, as provided by the White House. ——— Good morning, everybody. This...
Haiti 'cursed' by pact with devil, says Pat Robertson
01/13/2010 Pat Robertson: Haiti 'cursed' by pact with devil
Death was everywhere in Port-au-Prince. Bodies of tiny children were piled next to schools. Corpses of women lay on the street with stunned expressions frozen on their faces as flies began to gather. Bodies of men were covered with plastic tarps or cotton sheets.
President Rene Preval said he believes thousands were killed in Tuesday afternoon's magnitude-7.0 quake, and the scope of the destruction prompted other officials to give even higher estimates. Leading Sen. Youri Latortue told The Associated Press that 500,000 could be dead, although he acknowledged that nobody really knows.
"Parliament has collapsed. The tax office has collapsed. Schools have collapsed. Hospitals have collapsed," Preval told the Miami Herald. "There are a lot of schools that have a lot of dead people in them."
Even the main prison in the capital fell down, "and there are reports of escaped inmates," U.N. humanitarian spokeswoman Elisabeth Byrs said in Geneva.
The head of the U.N. peacekeeping mission was missing and the Roman Catholic archbishop of Port-au-Prince was dead.
"The cathedral, the archbishop's office, all the big churches, the seminaries have been reduced to rubble," Archbishop Bernardito Auza, the apostolic envoy to Haiti, told the Vatican news agency FIDES.
The parking lot of the Hotel Villa Creole was a triage center. People sat with injuries and growing infections by the side of rubble-strewn roads, hoping that doctors and aid would come.
The international Red Cross said a third of Haiti's 9 million people may need emergency aid and that it would take a day or two for a clear picture of the damage to emerge.
At first light Wednesday, a U.S. Coast Guard helicopter evacuated four critically injured U.S. Embassy staff to the hospital on the U.S. Naval base at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, where the military has been detaining suspected terrorists.
President Barack Obama promised an all-out rescue and humanitarian effort, adding that the U.S. commitment to its hemispheric neighbor will be unwavering.
"We have to be there for them in their hour of need," Obama said.
A small contingent of U.S. ground troops could be on their way soon, although it was unclear whether they would be used for security operations or humanitarian efforts. Gen. Douglas Fraser, commander of the U.S. Southern Command, said roughly 2,000 Marines as part of an expeditionary unit might be deployed aboard a large-deck amphibious ship. Fraser said the ship could provide medical help.
Other nations — from Iceland to Venezuela — said they would start sending in aid workers and rescue teams. Cuba said its existing field hospitals in Haiti had already treated hundreds of victims. The United Nations said Port-au-Prince's main airport was "fully operational" and open to relief flights.
The U.S. Navy aircraft carrier, USS Carl Vinson, is under way and expected to arrive off the coast of Haiti Thursday. Additional U.S. Navy ships are under way to Haiti, a statement from the Southern Command said.
Aftershocks continued to rattle the capital of 2 million people as women covered in dust clawed out of debris, wailing. Stunned people wandered the streets holding hands. Thousands gathered in public squares to sing hymns.
U.N. humanitarian chief John Holmes said it was possible that the death toll "will be in the thousands."
"Initial reports suggest a high number of casualties and, of course, widespread damage but I don't have any figure that I can give you with any reliability of what the number of casualties will be," Holmes said.
People pulled bodies from collapsed homes, covering them with sheets by the side of the road. Passers-by lifted the sheets to see if loved ones were underneath. Outside a crumbled building, the bodies of five children and three adults lay in a pile.
The prominent died along with the poor: the body of Archbishop Joseph Serge Miot, 63, was found in the ruins of his office, said the Rev. Pierre Le Beller of the Saint Jacques Missionary Center in Landivisiau, France. He told The Associated Press by telephone that fellow missionaries in Haiti had told him they found Miot's body.
Preval told the Herald that Haiti's Senate president was among those trapped alive inside the Parliament building. Much of the National Palace pancaked on itself.
The international Red Cross and other aid groups announced plans for major relief operations in the Western Hemisphere's poorest country.
Many will have to help their own staff as well as stricken Haitians. Taiwan said its embassy was destroyed and the ambassador hospitalized. Spain said its embassy was badly damaged and France said its embassy also suffered damage.
Tens of thousands of people lost their homes as buildings that were flimsy and dangerous even under normal conditions collapsed. Nobody offered an estimate of the dead, but the numbers were clearly enormous.
"The hospitals cannot handle all these victims," said Dr. Louis-Gerard Gilles.
American Red Cross spokesman Eric Porterfield said that the agency has already exhausted the small amount of medical equipment and medical supplies it had in Haiti and is sending more supplies, though it was not clear when they would arrive.
Medical experts say disasters such as an earthquake generally do not lead to new outbreaks of infectious diseases, but they do tend to worsen existing health problems.
Haiti's quake refugees likely will face an increased risk of dengue fever, malaria and measles — problems that plagued the impoverished country before, said Kimberley Shoaf, associate director of the UCLA Center for Public Health and Disasters.
Some of the biggest immediate health threats include respiratory disease from inhaling dust from collapsed buildings and diarrhea from drinking contaminated water.
With hospitals and clinics severely damaged, Haiti will also face risks of secondary infections. People seeking medical attention for broken bones and other injuries may not be able to get the help they need and may develop complications.
Dead bodies piled on the streets typically don't pose a public health risk. But for a country wracked by violence, seeing the dead will exact a psychological toll.
An American aid worker was trapped for about 10 hours under the rubble of her mission house before she was rescued by her husband, who told CBS' "Early Show" that he drove 100 miles (160 kilometers) to Port-au-Prince to find her. Frank Thorp said he dug for more than an hour to free his wife, Jillian, and a co-worker, from under about a foot of concrete.
An estimated 40,000-45,000 Americans live in Haiti, and the U.S. Embassy had no confirmed reports of deaths among its citizens. All but one American employed by the embassy have been accounted for, State Department officials said.
Even relatively wealthy neighborhoods were devastated.
An AP videographer saw a wrecked hospital where people screamed for help in Petionville, a hillside district that is home to many diplomats and wealthy Haitians as well as the poor.
At a destroyed four-story apartment building, a girl of about 16 stood atop a car, trying to see inside while several men pulled at a foot sticking from rubble. She said her family was inside.
"A school near here collapsed totally," Petionville resident Ken Michel said after surveying the damage. "We don't know if there were any children inside." He said many seemingly sturdy homes nearby were split apart.
The U.N.'s 9,000 peacekeepers in Haiti, many of whom are from Brazil, were distracted from aid efforts by their own tragedy: Many spent the night hunting for survivors in the ruins of their headquarters.
U.N. peacekeeping chief Alain Le Roy said that at least 14 U.N. personnel were killed and 150 were still unaccounted for, including mission chief Hedi Annabi. Fifty-six others were injured, and seven of them were medically evacuated from the country.
Le Roy said the fatalities include 13 peacekeepers — 10 Brazilians and three Jordanians — and a Haitian civilian working for the U.N. peacekeeping mission in the country.
U.N. peacekeeping forces in Port-au-Prince are securing the airport, the port, main buildings and patrolling the streets, Le Roy said.
Brazil's army said at least 11 of its peacekeepers were killed, while Jordan's official news agency said three of its peacekeepers were killed. A state newspaper in China said eight Chinese peacekeepers were known dead and 10 were missing — though officials later said the information was not confirmed.
The quake struck at 4:53 p.m., and was centered 10 miles (15 kilometers) west of Port-au-Prince at a depth of only 5 miles (8 kilometers), the U.S. Geological Survey said. USGS geophysicist Kristin Marano called it the strongest earthquake since 1770 in what is now Haiti.
Video obtained by the AP showed a huge dust cloud rising over Port-au-Prince shortly after the quake as buildings collapsed.
Most Haitians are desperately poor, and after years of political instability the country has no real construction standards. In November 2008, following the collapse of a school in Petionville, the mayor of Port-au-Prince estimated about 60 percent of buildings were shoddily built and unsafe normally.
The quake was felt in the Dominican Republic, which shares the island of Hispaniola with Haiti, and in eastern Cuba, but no major damage was reported in either place.
With electricity out in many places and phone service erratic, it was nearly impossible for Haitian or foreign officials to get full details of the devastation.
"Everybody is just totally, totally freaked out and shaken," said Henry Bahn, a U.S. Department of Agriculture official in Port-au-Prince. "The sky is just gray with dust."
Edwidge Danticat, an award-winning Haitian-American author was unable to contact relatives in Haiti. She sat with family and friends at her home in Miami, looking for news on the Internet and watching TV news reports.
"You want to go there, but you just have to wait," she said. "Life is already so fragile in Haiti, and to have this on such a massive scale, it's unimaginable how the country will be able to recover from this."
Read more: http://newsok.com/quake-stunned-haitians-pile-bodies-by-fallen-homes/article/3431766?custom_click=lead_story_title#ixzz0cZUsRrIJ
When you see anyone weeping in grief because his son has gone abroad, or is dead, or because he has suffered in his affairs, be careful that the appearance may not misdirect you. Instead, distinguish within your own mind, and be prepared to say, "It's not the accident that distresses this person., because it doesn't distress another person; it is the judgment which he makes about it." As far as words go, however, don't reduce yourself to his level, and certainly do not moan with him. Do not moan inwardly either.
Epictetus's admonition above ,from the Enchiridion,does usualy apply to daily affairs,
However, in the tragedy which occurred recently in Haiti, one would be
unkind to preach sucha perspective to those unfortunate people.
So, Our perspective of Loss receives a desparate reality Check,
when we even attempt to comprehend the nearly unfathomable loss which has
occured in Haiti. Nearly Unfathomable,because we have seen even only
a few years ago as similar tragedy in Indonesia withover 200,000 souls
gone from this earth. Over the last 100 years ,perhaps over a million
souls have been lost from this earth due to earthquakes alone.
Events such as this are dangerous to humanity in that we are challenged to
comprehend despair and loss at such a cosmic scale, which can trigger
depression and mental illness in those unable or unprepared to
compartmentalize or put such events into a mental locker that could
and should be accessed in more tolerable degress,hopefully with others.
For now, prayers, the sending of even small amounts of money to
reputable agencies able to offer assistance is a good start.
Later, as it sinks in, time initiates its march of healing,
forgetfullness or complacency one can relfect, that Also,
their are Billons of moments of Joy and Grace that occur daily.
FOr this we should also be grateful.
When you are going about any action, remind yourself what nature the action is. If you are going to bathe, picture to yourself the things which usually happen in the bath: some people splash the water, some push, some use abusive language, and others steal. Thus you will more safely go about this action if you say to yourself, "I will now go bathe, and keep my own mind in a state conformable to nature." And in the same manner with regard to every other action. For thus, if any hindrance arises in bathing, you will have it ready to say, "It was not only to bathe that I desired, but to keep my mind in a state conformable to nature; and I will not keep it if I am bothered at things that happen.
Men are disturbed, not by things, but by the principles and notions which they form concerning things. Death, for instance, is not terrible, else it would have appeared so to Socrates. But the terror consists in our notion of death that it is terrible. When therefore we are hindered, or disturbed, or grieved, let us never attribute it to others, but to ourselves; that is, to our own principles. An uninstructed person will lay the fault of his own bad condition upon others. Someone just starting instruction will lay the fault on himself. Some who is perfectly instructed will place blame neither on others nor on himself.
Don't demand that things happen as you wish, but wish that they happen as they do happen, and you will go on well.
Sickness is a hindrance to the body, but not to your ability to choose, unless that is your choice. Lameness is a hindrance to the leg, but not to your ability to choose. Say this to yourself with regard to everything that happens, then you will see such obstacles as hindrances to something else, but not to yourself.
Thousands feared dead in Haiti earthquake
By JONATHAN M. KATZ, Associated Press Writer The Oklahoman Comments 82 Published: January 13, 2010
PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti (AP) — Haitians piled bodies along the devastated streets of their capital Wednesday after a powerful earthquake flattened the president's palace, the cathedral, hospitals, schools, the main prison and whole neighborhoods. Officials feared thousands — perhaps more than 100,000 — may have perished but there was no firm count.
This photo provided by Carel Pedre shows people running past rubble of a damaged building in Port-au-Prince, Haiti, Tuesday, Jan. 12, 2010. The largest earthquake ever recorded in the area shook Haiti on Tuesday, collapsing a hospital where people screamed for help. (AP Photo/Carel Pedre)
MultimediaVideo
view all videos
Haiti earthquake registers in Oklahoma
Jan 13The largest earthquake ever recorded in Haiti registered on...
Photo
view all photos
Related contentLinksData Watch: Finding earthquake data on the Web
Red Cross: How to help
AP Interactive: Haiti Earthquake
More InfoHOW TO HELP
To donate $10 to the American Red Cross to aid victims of the earthquake in Haiti, text Haiti 90999.
NewsOK Related ArticlesHaitian earthquake registers on Oklahoma equipment
01/13/2010 The largest earthquake ever recorded in Haiti registered on equipment managed by the Oklahoma Geological Survey, scientists said. Authorities said the...
Do you have any relatives in Haiti?
01/13/2010 Or do you know anyone that frequently visits the country?
Obama promises all-out relief effort in Haiti
01/13/2010 WASHINGTON — President Barack Obama promised an all-out rescue and humanitarian effort Wednesday to help Haiti overcome a "cruel and incomprehensible"...
Text of President Obama's statement on Haiti
01/13/2010 Text of president Barack Obama speaking about Haiti on Wednesday, as provided by the White House. ——— Good morning, everybody. This...
Haiti 'cursed' by pact with devil, says Pat Robertson
01/13/2010 Pat Robertson: Haiti 'cursed' by pact with devil
Death was everywhere in Port-au-Prince. Bodies of tiny children were piled next to schools. Corpses of women lay on the street with stunned expressions frozen on their faces as flies began to gather. Bodies of men were covered with plastic tarps or cotton sheets.
President Rene Preval said he believes thousands were killed in Tuesday afternoon's magnitude-7.0 quake, and the scope of the destruction prompted other officials to give even higher estimates. Leading Sen. Youri Latortue told The Associated Press that 500,000 could be dead, although he acknowledged that nobody really knows.
"Parliament has collapsed. The tax office has collapsed. Schools have collapsed. Hospitals have collapsed," Preval told the Miami Herald. "There are a lot of schools that have a lot of dead people in them."
Even the main prison in the capital fell down, "and there are reports of escaped inmates," U.N. humanitarian spokeswoman Elisabeth Byrs said in Geneva.
The head of the U.N. peacekeeping mission was missing and the Roman Catholic archbishop of Port-au-Prince was dead.
"The cathedral, the archbishop's office, all the big churches, the seminaries have been reduced to rubble," Archbishop Bernardito Auza, the apostolic envoy to Haiti, told the Vatican news agency FIDES.
The parking lot of the Hotel Villa Creole was a triage center. People sat with injuries and growing infections by the side of rubble-strewn roads, hoping that doctors and aid would come.
The international Red Cross said a third of Haiti's 9 million people may need emergency aid and that it would take a day or two for a clear picture of the damage to emerge.
At first light Wednesday, a U.S. Coast Guard helicopter evacuated four critically injured U.S. Embassy staff to the hospital on the U.S. Naval base at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, where the military has been detaining suspected terrorists.
President Barack Obama promised an all-out rescue and humanitarian effort, adding that the U.S. commitment to its hemispheric neighbor will be unwavering.
"We have to be there for them in their hour of need," Obama said.
A small contingent of U.S. ground troops could be on their way soon, although it was unclear whether they would be used for security operations or humanitarian efforts. Gen. Douglas Fraser, commander of the U.S. Southern Command, said roughly 2,000 Marines as part of an expeditionary unit might be deployed aboard a large-deck amphibious ship. Fraser said the ship could provide medical help.
Other nations — from Iceland to Venezuela — said they would start sending in aid workers and rescue teams. Cuba said its existing field hospitals in Haiti had already treated hundreds of victims. The United Nations said Port-au-Prince's main airport was "fully operational" and open to relief flights.
The U.S. Navy aircraft carrier, USS Carl Vinson, is under way and expected to arrive off the coast of Haiti Thursday. Additional U.S. Navy ships are under way to Haiti, a statement from the Southern Command said.
Aftershocks continued to rattle the capital of 2 million people as women covered in dust clawed out of debris, wailing. Stunned people wandered the streets holding hands. Thousands gathered in public squares to sing hymns.
U.N. humanitarian chief John Holmes said it was possible that the death toll "will be in the thousands."
"Initial reports suggest a high number of casualties and, of course, widespread damage but I don't have any figure that I can give you with any reliability of what the number of casualties will be," Holmes said.
People pulled bodies from collapsed homes, covering them with sheets by the side of the road. Passers-by lifted the sheets to see if loved ones were underneath. Outside a crumbled building, the bodies of five children and three adults lay in a pile.
The prominent died along with the poor: the body of Archbishop Joseph Serge Miot, 63, was found in the ruins of his office, said the Rev. Pierre Le Beller of the Saint Jacques Missionary Center in Landivisiau, France. He told The Associated Press by telephone that fellow missionaries in Haiti had told him they found Miot's body.
Preval told the Herald that Haiti's Senate president was among those trapped alive inside the Parliament building. Much of the National Palace pancaked on itself.
The international Red Cross and other aid groups announced plans for major relief operations in the Western Hemisphere's poorest country.
Many will have to help their own staff as well as stricken Haitians. Taiwan said its embassy was destroyed and the ambassador hospitalized. Spain said its embassy was badly damaged and France said its embassy also suffered damage.
Tens of thousands of people lost their homes as buildings that were flimsy and dangerous even under normal conditions collapsed. Nobody offered an estimate of the dead, but the numbers were clearly enormous.
"The hospitals cannot handle all these victims," said Dr. Louis-Gerard Gilles.
American Red Cross spokesman Eric Porterfield said that the agency has already exhausted the small amount of medical equipment and medical supplies it had in Haiti and is sending more supplies, though it was not clear when they would arrive.
Medical experts say disasters such as an earthquake generally do not lead to new outbreaks of infectious diseases, but they do tend to worsen existing health problems.
Haiti's quake refugees likely will face an increased risk of dengue fever, malaria and measles — problems that plagued the impoverished country before, said Kimberley Shoaf, associate director of the UCLA Center for Public Health and Disasters.
Some of the biggest immediate health threats include respiratory disease from inhaling dust from collapsed buildings and diarrhea from drinking contaminated water.
With hospitals and clinics severely damaged, Haiti will also face risks of secondary infections. People seeking medical attention for broken bones and other injuries may not be able to get the help they need and may develop complications.
Dead bodies piled on the streets typically don't pose a public health risk. But for a country wracked by violence, seeing the dead will exact a psychological toll.
An American aid worker was trapped for about 10 hours under the rubble of her mission house before she was rescued by her husband, who told CBS' "Early Show" that he drove 100 miles (160 kilometers) to Port-au-Prince to find her. Frank Thorp said he dug for more than an hour to free his wife, Jillian, and a co-worker, from under about a foot of concrete.
An estimated 40,000-45,000 Americans live in Haiti, and the U.S. Embassy had no confirmed reports of deaths among its citizens. All but one American employed by the embassy have been accounted for, State Department officials said.
Even relatively wealthy neighborhoods were devastated.
An AP videographer saw a wrecked hospital where people screamed for help in Petionville, a hillside district that is home to many diplomats and wealthy Haitians as well as the poor.
At a destroyed four-story apartment building, a girl of about 16 stood atop a car, trying to see inside while several men pulled at a foot sticking from rubble. She said her family was inside.
"A school near here collapsed totally," Petionville resident Ken Michel said after surveying the damage. "We don't know if there were any children inside." He said many seemingly sturdy homes nearby were split apart.
The U.N.'s 9,000 peacekeepers in Haiti, many of whom are from Brazil, were distracted from aid efforts by their own tragedy: Many spent the night hunting for survivors in the ruins of their headquarters.
U.N. peacekeeping chief Alain Le Roy said that at least 14 U.N. personnel were killed and 150 were still unaccounted for, including mission chief Hedi Annabi. Fifty-six others were injured, and seven of them were medically evacuated from the country.
Le Roy said the fatalities include 13 peacekeepers — 10 Brazilians and three Jordanians — and a Haitian civilian working for the U.N. peacekeeping mission in the country.
U.N. peacekeeping forces in Port-au-Prince are securing the airport, the port, main buildings and patrolling the streets, Le Roy said.
Brazil's army said at least 11 of its peacekeepers were killed, while Jordan's official news agency said three of its peacekeepers were killed. A state newspaper in China said eight Chinese peacekeepers were known dead and 10 were missing — though officials later said the information was not confirmed.
The quake struck at 4:53 p.m., and was centered 10 miles (15 kilometers) west of Port-au-Prince at a depth of only 5 miles (8 kilometers), the U.S. Geological Survey said. USGS geophysicist Kristin Marano called it the strongest earthquake since 1770 in what is now Haiti.
Video obtained by the AP showed a huge dust cloud rising over Port-au-Prince shortly after the quake as buildings collapsed.
Most Haitians are desperately poor, and after years of political instability the country has no real construction standards. In November 2008, following the collapse of a school in Petionville, the mayor of Port-au-Prince estimated about 60 percent of buildings were shoddily built and unsafe normally.
The quake was felt in the Dominican Republic, which shares the island of Hispaniola with Haiti, and in eastern Cuba, but no major damage was reported in either place.
With electricity out in many places and phone service erratic, it was nearly impossible for Haitian or foreign officials to get full details of the devastation.
"Everybody is just totally, totally freaked out and shaken," said Henry Bahn, a U.S. Department of Agriculture official in Port-au-Prince. "The sky is just gray with dust."
Edwidge Danticat, an award-winning Haitian-American author was unable to contact relatives in Haiti. She sat with family and friends at her home in Miami, looking for news on the Internet and watching TV news reports.
"You want to go there, but you just have to wait," she said. "Life is already so fragile in Haiti, and to have this on such a massive scale, it's unimaginable how the country will be able to recover from this."
Read more: http://newsok.com/quake-stunned-haitians-pile-bodies-by-fallen-homes/article/3431766?custom_click=lead_story_title#ixzz0cZUsRrIJ
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Helping
Helping Others, are you a "Good Samaritin"?, an enabler, a Patron,or ??
I've been helping others for over 5 decades,I'd say, for a number of reasons,some gracious, some not, but have learned that the cynical adage,
" No Good deed Goes Unpunished" is on occassion ,a Truism.
I often find my self helping out,with no forethought,which i,I guess is a good thing, but then ,there I am ,Obligated, or am I, and the Helpee,are they also,Obligated to ?Pass it On!/,? , or Reciprocate? It is Complex, and often as not, to have expectation of any kind,is unrealistic.
Often , Not Helping, would'v ebeen the correct choice, as it turned ,out,the person needed a Life Lesson, an opportunity ,of which I essentially stole from them. I have done this many times for and to my children and possibly others. Again,It is Complex.
In the parable of the Good Samaritin, Christ,never rebukes the Thieves.
Thieves,do,what Thieves Do.However,he was pissed at those who had Agency,yet walked on by,or did little more than a pittance to help the
guy who'd ben beaten and robbed. Christ's ,premise,is ,if you've Agency,
you are Obligated to help,and not just a "Token"amount, but almost more than you could bear.
It is a tough Row to Hoe, to help others bear thier Crosses,when you can bearly bear your own. I wonder ,thugh,if it should be that way.
True Pilanthropists,have made millions, from others,are organized, yet
they help millions more,once they are successful. If they'd ?squandered"their emotinal energy,money,time, helping others,one,by one,
would Philanthroposts such as BIll and Melinda Gates be able to help the millions they are now helping? I do not know.
It seems, one must reserve something ,not be a Martyr,to be successful at being a "Helper" a lesson I hope I have learned Not too late.
Bill Swann D.O.
Below is an article about this from another less cynical point of view.
helping OTHERS
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To help others is to help ourselves. We should try to purify our mind at all times, give our love and kindness unconditionally, and not expect anything in return. This is the best way.
.....
We work and contribute only because there is a need at that moment. When there is a need for us to do, we do it. After we have done it, that's all. There are no other purposes to it. Of course, we should help those who need help. When others need help, we just help. Helping is like not helping at all. In the Diamond Sutra it is written: Give without giving is the true giving. When we help others, it is like eating food or washing our hands. We don't feel especially proud for washing our hands. That state of mind is just like that. Whatever we do, we do it as if for ourselves. It is very natural. If we don't practice spiritually, no matter how much goodwill we have, we still can not do it well.
.....
The more we work, the more we try to help other people, the more we grow.
.....
And whatever job we do we have to do it wholeheartedly. Moreover we still have to help our fellow beings in whatever way we can, make them happy, make them feel loved.
.....
When you are working not for reward but only from love, then everything will go very smoothly.
.....
We have to help also with social work. Whatever we can do to help lessen the suffering, that is the most noble work, which will not only be recognized in this world, but also praised by heaven.
.....
When a depressed person with a deep inferiority complex comes to seek our help, we should help him. Help him to become a high-spirited and self-confident person with an ideal; one who is no longer disappointed in himself or wants to jump off a building. This is our magical power; and this is "giving alms of fearlessness," just like the Quan Yin Bodhisattva.
.....
We help others, because when we observe others in distress, it is like we are in distress. This feeling should come genuinely from the heart. When we are cold, we immediately get a blanket, a meditation cloth or a hat to cover ourselves. When others are feeling cold, we also feel it. Even when we are warm and cozy, we cannot get to sleep if we think of the people suffering in the cold. First thing in the morning, we will try to help them quickly. When I help others, most of the time it is because I myself cannot sleep. So, I am also helping myself. If I don't help them, I will feel bad. To ease my distressful feeling, I have to help them, the faster the better. When it is done quickly, I am happy too! This is the natural way to help others.
.....
When we are thinking of serving others, we will somehow forget about ourselves.
.....
When we do good deeds the results would definitely be good. Even if the results were not good, we would be contented, would not feel guilty, and would not lose our self-confidence or our self-respect.
.....
When we serve the multitude, God also serves us. Such is the law on which the universe functions.
.....
We should do things without any purpose in mind. It applies to any job. Unconditional devotion is the best.
.....
We keep reminding ourselves what we have done for others, we will be merely doing business transactions like the worldly merchants, and not truly giving selflessly.
.....
Do not always run around to take care of me. Take care of our guests, take care of our brothers and sisters or whoever needs to be taken care of. It is okay. Everyone likes to run around and take care of me, but you don't realise that I am in all of you. For you to take care of each other is like taking care of me. I only need a little amount of attention. I don't need all of you taking care of me, you will run over me! (laughter). You will overwhelm me with love and attention, and other brothers stand around and nobody takes care of them and it is me too, it is me who you left behind or didn't take care of. I feel the feelings of the person. You don't feel it, but I do. So if you don't take care of them, it means that you bother me, because I will know it, and I will be bothered.
I've been helping others for over 5 decades,I'd say, for a number of reasons,some gracious, some not, but have learned that the cynical adage,
" No Good deed Goes Unpunished" is on occassion ,a Truism.
I often find my self helping out,with no forethought,which i,I guess is a good thing, but then ,there I am ,Obligated, or am I, and the Helpee,are they also,Obligated to ?Pass it On!/,? , or Reciprocate? It is Complex, and often as not, to have expectation of any kind,is unrealistic.
Often , Not Helping, would'v ebeen the correct choice, as it turned ,out,the person needed a Life Lesson, an opportunity ,of which I essentially stole from them. I have done this many times for and to my children and possibly others. Again,It is Complex.
In the parable of the Good Samaritin, Christ,never rebukes the Thieves.
Thieves,do,what Thieves Do.However,he was pissed at those who had Agency,yet walked on by,or did little more than a pittance to help the
guy who'd ben beaten and robbed. Christ's ,premise,is ,if you've Agency,
you are Obligated to help,and not just a "Token"amount, but almost more than you could bear.
It is a tough Row to Hoe, to help others bear thier Crosses,when you can bearly bear your own. I wonder ,thugh,if it should be that way.
True Pilanthropists,have made millions, from others,are organized, yet
they help millions more,once they are successful. If they'd ?squandered"their emotinal energy,money,time, helping others,one,by one,
would Philanthroposts such as BIll and Melinda Gates be able to help the millions they are now helping? I do not know.
It seems, one must reserve something ,not be a Martyr,to be successful at being a "Helper" a lesson I hope I have learned Not too late.
Bill Swann D.O.
Below is an article about this from another less cynical point of view.
helping OTHERS
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To help others is to help ourselves. We should try to purify our mind at all times, give our love and kindness unconditionally, and not expect anything in return. This is the best way.
.....
We work and contribute only because there is a need at that moment. When there is a need for us to do, we do it. After we have done it, that's all. There are no other purposes to it. Of course, we should help those who need help. When others need help, we just help. Helping is like not helping at all. In the Diamond Sutra it is written: Give without giving is the true giving. When we help others, it is like eating food or washing our hands. We don't feel especially proud for washing our hands. That state of mind is just like that. Whatever we do, we do it as if for ourselves. It is very natural. If we don't practice spiritually, no matter how much goodwill we have, we still can not do it well.
.....
The more we work, the more we try to help other people, the more we grow.
.....
And whatever job we do we have to do it wholeheartedly. Moreover we still have to help our fellow beings in whatever way we can, make them happy, make them feel loved.
.....
When you are working not for reward but only from love, then everything will go very smoothly.
.....
We have to help also with social work. Whatever we can do to help lessen the suffering, that is the most noble work, which will not only be recognized in this world, but also praised by heaven.
.....
When a depressed person with a deep inferiority complex comes to seek our help, we should help him. Help him to become a high-spirited and self-confident person with an ideal; one who is no longer disappointed in himself or wants to jump off a building. This is our magical power; and this is "giving alms of fearlessness," just like the Quan Yin Bodhisattva.
.....
We help others, because when we observe others in distress, it is like we are in distress. This feeling should come genuinely from the heart. When we are cold, we immediately get a blanket, a meditation cloth or a hat to cover ourselves. When others are feeling cold, we also feel it. Even when we are warm and cozy, we cannot get to sleep if we think of the people suffering in the cold. First thing in the morning, we will try to help them quickly. When I help others, most of the time it is because I myself cannot sleep. So, I am also helping myself. If I don't help them, I will feel bad. To ease my distressful feeling, I have to help them, the faster the better. When it is done quickly, I am happy too! This is the natural way to help others.
.....
When we are thinking of serving others, we will somehow forget about ourselves.
.....
When we do good deeds the results would definitely be good. Even if the results were not good, we would be contented, would not feel guilty, and would not lose our self-confidence or our self-respect.
.....
When we serve the multitude, God also serves us. Such is the law on which the universe functions.
.....
We should do things without any purpose in mind. It applies to any job. Unconditional devotion is the best.
.....
We keep reminding ourselves what we have done for others, we will be merely doing business transactions like the worldly merchants, and not truly giving selflessly.
.....
Do not always run around to take care of me. Take care of our guests, take care of our brothers and sisters or whoever needs to be taken care of. It is okay. Everyone likes to run around and take care of me, but you don't realise that I am in all of you. For you to take care of each other is like taking care of me. I only need a little amount of attention. I don't need all of you taking care of me, you will run over me! (laughter). You will overwhelm me with love and attention, and other brothers stand around and nobody takes care of them and it is me too, it is me who you left behind or didn't take care of. I feel the feelings of the person. You don't feel it, but I do. So if you don't take care of them, it means that you bother me, because I will know it, and I will be bothered.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Can Peter Pan Love the Mother of His Child??
Can Peter Pan Love the Mother of His Child??
So, as a Dad, A Husband and the Brother of 6 Sisters, All Who are,were,Moms,(3 are Dead,as is my Mom),I have a few thoughts about
Single Moms. Raising a Child takes at least 2, and often a Village.
When the Mom is not supported by the Father of her child, he dumps the work,the support obligations, onto the Village,the Family, if there is one.
I know, Let me tell you,I do really know, women,are often tough to tolerate. It is this toleration, understanding,patience, that is a part of what is necessary to loving them,especially f they are the mother of one's children. Some women,yearn for a "Perfect " Guy, not a committed guy, some women are indeed crazy, but when there is a kid involved, you got obligations, life is not about you,Daddy. Oh,on that, any guy can be a Father, but not every guy can be a Daddy.Being a Dad, is the most important job a man willdo . We do our Best, and that includes Loving the mother, for better or for worse. I get one may not tolerate living with her, but , you now have obligations, so, it is ,what it is, So, time to Grow up,Dad.It is an issue a guy ,who is a Dad, must do, to be a Man.
I Don't have all the answers,but, below are 2 articles, that disucss some of these issues. Read & Learn.
Bill Swann D.O.
"The best thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother."
by Beth McHugh | More from this Blogger
25 OCT 2006 12:53 AM
I was talking recently to a very dear friend who dropped this pearl of wisdom into the conversation: "The best thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother."
The friend couldn't remember where she had heard this saying, but it didn't matter. The wisdom in these few words is both concise and profound. Think about that sentence again: "The best thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother."
Really, in terms of the bigger picture, this says it all. In loving the mother, he will, by definition, love the child. Yet in loving the mother, he also sets up a profound sense of peace and stability in the child that is irreplaceable. For children who come from a stable, loving background, this may not seem of fundamental importance. That is because they have experienced the deep peace that comes from having grown up in a loving environment and know of no other way of being.
But for adult children of difficult or fractured backgrounds, the head nods in agreement. There was little sense of peace in such an upbringing. This lack of security plays out in later life. It affects relationships at school, relationships at work and, most importantly, love relationships. Not having a sense of childhood stability makes the adolescent and adult individual needy and insecure, and effectively limits their choice of suitable partners. Often children of unstable parental relationships will go on unwittingly to provide unstable homes for their own children, thus repeating the pattern.
A father who loves his children's mother also sets up a valuable template for both his sons and his daughters. For his sons, he displays a role model which the growing male can take as his own model for treating all the women in his life, from his mother and sisters, to his ultimate life partner.
Such a father also provides a role model for his daughters. Here the impressionable young woman can witness in the comfort of their own home all that they should expect from the men in their lives. They also learn by definition what they should not have to put up with. Having a father who loves your mother makes you more likely to go on to choose a man who will truly love you.
Finally, in giving his children this great gift, he is also demonstrating the very opposite of what some parents believe is good parenting. He is giving the intangible gift of love, not toys, gifts, and endless monetary handouts. Intangible the gift of love may be, but children soak up this invisible commodity like candy. They love it, because they inherently know it is what they need to thrive.
So fathers, show your children that you love their mother. Be as demonstrative as you know how. Stand next to her as you journey through life. The trickle-down effect of loving your partner will envelop your children in a cloak of love that will shield them from much of the harshness of life and encourage them to make better life choices.
There is no greater gift that you can give your children.
Male Socialization
The Peter Pan Syndrome: Men's Failed Relationships
Dec 9, 2007 Candy Brown
This article examines the problems men have in their relationships, particularly with women because of society's perception of appropriate masculine behavior.
Studies show that society holds basic generalities about young boys. Boys receive tools, bats, fishing rods, trucks and cars. They are cuddled less, and taught to repress their vulnerable feelings. Boys are encouraged to express aggression and expected to succeed in a profession, never admitting to any need for dependence (Dickstein, 1988).
Within the past 20 years, men have fallen apart emotionally due to broken relationships. The lack of socialization training has contributed to the deficient skills men have to communicate their feelings and express their anger constructively. Men often experience a sense of helplessness in their insufficient ability to cope and express vulnerable emotions; as a result, they become violent in how they communicate and in their behaviors.
The Peter Pan Syndrome
“The little boy who does not want to grow up”
Dan Kiley
Dan Kiley authored the book, The Peter Pan Syndrome (1983). Based on research of the effects of male socialization on relationships, Kiley developed the clinical diagnosis of the Peter Pan Syndrome. Males diagnosed with having this syndrome exhibit the following psychological traits:
Emotions become paralyzed and exaggerated
• Anger turns into rage
• Joy turns into hysteria
• Disappointment develops into depression or self-pity
How the Peter Pan Syndrome Affects Men’s Lives
Males diagnosed with this syndrome
• Have difficulty expressing love
• Refuse to share their feelings
• Lose touch with their emotions and have no idea what they feel
• Procrastinate
• Feel guilt and have difficulty in relaxing
• Have no real connection with friends. Believes friends can only be bought
• Easily panic and feel desperately alone in their attempts to belong
The idea of apologizing for inappropriate behavior is not an option. Blame is placed on other’s shortcomings so they do not have to focus on their own limitations and vulnerabilities. Alcohol or drug abuse is used to get high in order to drown out the existence of daily life challenges.
Relationships with Parents
Men suffering from the Peter Pan Syndrome have a
• Hang up with their mother
• The anger and guilt they feel are interwoven, masking their conflicted feelings for the mother
• The relationship with the father is estranged
• They believe that the father’s love and approval are unobtainable
• Have problems with authority figures
• Tend to be emotionally immature
• Exhibit silly behavior
• Have a macho attitude that hides their deep inner insecurities in attempts to hide the fear of rejection
Relationships with Women
When the male forms attachment with a woman they
• Become extremely jealous and exhibit violent outbursts
• Become easily provoked to fits of rage when a woman asserts any independence
A woman’s dependency is important for the male to feel protective of the woman. The fear of impotency and rejection contributes to verbally abusive behavior. The male strives to patronize the woman and appear strong and assertive when actually, feels threatened by the woman’s independence. The fear of appearing weak and unmanly in front of friends causes the male to deny any desire to share their own sensitivity with women.
Read more at Suite101: Male Socialization: The Peter Pan Syndrome: Men's Failed Relationships http://emotional-verbal-abuse.suite101.com/article.cfm/male_socialization#ixzz0bb5PV0Bx
So, as a Dad, A Husband and the Brother of 6 Sisters, All Who are,were,Moms,(3 are Dead,as is my Mom),I have a few thoughts about
Single Moms. Raising a Child takes at least 2, and often a Village.
When the Mom is not supported by the Father of her child, he dumps the work,the support obligations, onto the Village,the Family, if there is one.
I know, Let me tell you,I do really know, women,are often tough to tolerate. It is this toleration, understanding,patience, that is a part of what is necessary to loving them,especially f they are the mother of one's children. Some women,yearn for a "Perfect " Guy, not a committed guy, some women are indeed crazy, but when there is a kid involved, you got obligations, life is not about you,Daddy. Oh,on that, any guy can be a Father, but not every guy can be a Daddy.Being a Dad, is the most important job a man willdo . We do our Best, and that includes Loving the mother, for better or for worse. I get one may not tolerate living with her, but , you now have obligations, so, it is ,what it is, So, time to Grow up,Dad.It is an issue a guy ,who is a Dad, must do, to be a Man.
I Don't have all the answers,but, below are 2 articles, that disucss some of these issues. Read & Learn.
Bill Swann D.O.
"The best thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother."
by Beth McHugh | More from this Blogger
25 OCT 2006 12:53 AM
I was talking recently to a very dear friend who dropped this pearl of wisdom into the conversation: "The best thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother."
The friend couldn't remember where she had heard this saying, but it didn't matter. The wisdom in these few words is both concise and profound. Think about that sentence again: "The best thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother."
Really, in terms of the bigger picture, this says it all. In loving the mother, he will, by definition, love the child. Yet in loving the mother, he also sets up a profound sense of peace and stability in the child that is irreplaceable. For children who come from a stable, loving background, this may not seem of fundamental importance. That is because they have experienced the deep peace that comes from having grown up in a loving environment and know of no other way of being.
But for adult children of difficult or fractured backgrounds, the head nods in agreement. There was little sense of peace in such an upbringing. This lack of security plays out in later life. It affects relationships at school, relationships at work and, most importantly, love relationships. Not having a sense of childhood stability makes the adolescent and adult individual needy and insecure, and effectively limits their choice of suitable partners. Often children of unstable parental relationships will go on unwittingly to provide unstable homes for their own children, thus repeating the pattern.
A father who loves his children's mother also sets up a valuable template for both his sons and his daughters. For his sons, he displays a role model which the growing male can take as his own model for treating all the women in his life, from his mother and sisters, to his ultimate life partner.
Such a father also provides a role model for his daughters. Here the impressionable young woman can witness in the comfort of their own home all that they should expect from the men in their lives. They also learn by definition what they should not have to put up with. Having a father who loves your mother makes you more likely to go on to choose a man who will truly love you.
Finally, in giving his children this great gift, he is also demonstrating the very opposite of what some parents believe is good parenting. He is giving the intangible gift of love, not toys, gifts, and endless monetary handouts. Intangible the gift of love may be, but children soak up this invisible commodity like candy. They love it, because they inherently know it is what they need to thrive.
So fathers, show your children that you love their mother. Be as demonstrative as you know how. Stand next to her as you journey through life. The trickle-down effect of loving your partner will envelop your children in a cloak of love that will shield them from much of the harshness of life and encourage them to make better life choices.
There is no greater gift that you can give your children.
Male Socialization
The Peter Pan Syndrome: Men's Failed Relationships
Dec 9, 2007 Candy Brown
This article examines the problems men have in their relationships, particularly with women because of society's perception of appropriate masculine behavior.
Studies show that society holds basic generalities about young boys. Boys receive tools, bats, fishing rods, trucks and cars. They are cuddled less, and taught to repress their vulnerable feelings. Boys are encouraged to express aggression and expected to succeed in a profession, never admitting to any need for dependence (Dickstein, 1988).
Within the past 20 years, men have fallen apart emotionally due to broken relationships. The lack of socialization training has contributed to the deficient skills men have to communicate their feelings and express their anger constructively. Men often experience a sense of helplessness in their insufficient ability to cope and express vulnerable emotions; as a result, they become violent in how they communicate and in their behaviors.
The Peter Pan Syndrome
“The little boy who does not want to grow up”
Dan Kiley
Dan Kiley authored the book, The Peter Pan Syndrome (1983). Based on research of the effects of male socialization on relationships, Kiley developed the clinical diagnosis of the Peter Pan Syndrome. Males diagnosed with having this syndrome exhibit the following psychological traits:
Emotions become paralyzed and exaggerated
• Anger turns into rage
• Joy turns into hysteria
• Disappointment develops into depression or self-pity
How the Peter Pan Syndrome Affects Men’s Lives
Males diagnosed with this syndrome
• Have difficulty expressing love
• Refuse to share their feelings
• Lose touch with their emotions and have no idea what they feel
• Procrastinate
• Feel guilt and have difficulty in relaxing
• Have no real connection with friends. Believes friends can only be bought
• Easily panic and feel desperately alone in their attempts to belong
The idea of apologizing for inappropriate behavior is not an option. Blame is placed on other’s shortcomings so they do not have to focus on their own limitations and vulnerabilities. Alcohol or drug abuse is used to get high in order to drown out the existence of daily life challenges.
Relationships with Parents
Men suffering from the Peter Pan Syndrome have a
• Hang up with their mother
• The anger and guilt they feel are interwoven, masking their conflicted feelings for the mother
• The relationship with the father is estranged
• They believe that the father’s love and approval are unobtainable
• Have problems with authority figures
• Tend to be emotionally immature
• Exhibit silly behavior
• Have a macho attitude that hides their deep inner insecurities in attempts to hide the fear of rejection
Relationships with Women
When the male forms attachment with a woman they
• Become extremely jealous and exhibit violent outbursts
• Become easily provoked to fits of rage when a woman asserts any independence
A woman’s dependency is important for the male to feel protective of the woman. The fear of impotency and rejection contributes to verbally abusive behavior. The male strives to patronize the woman and appear strong and assertive when actually, feels threatened by the woman’s independence. The fear of appearing weak and unmanly in front of friends causes the male to deny any desire to share their own sensitivity with women.
Read more at Suite101: Male Socialization: The Peter Pan Syndrome: Men's Failed Relationships http://emotional-verbal-abuse.suite101.com/article.cfm/male_socialization#ixzz0bb5PV0Bx
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)