Can Peter Pan Love the Mother of His Child??

Can Peter Pan Love the Mother of His Child??

So, as a Dad, A Husband and the Brother of 6 Sisters, All Who are,were,Moms,(3 are Dead,as is my Mom),I have a few thoughts about
Single Moms. Raising a Child takes at least 2, and often a Village.
When the Mom is not supported by the Father of her child, he dumps the work,the support obligations, onto the Village,the Family, if there is one.

I know, Let me tell you,I do really know, women,are often tough to tolerate. It is this toleration, understanding,patience, that is a part of what is necessary to loving them,especially f they are the mother of one's children. Some women,yearn for a "Perfect " Guy, not a committed guy, some women are indeed crazy, but when there is a kid involved, you got obligations, life is not about you,Daddy. Oh,on that, any guy can be a Father, but not every guy can be a Daddy.Being a Dad, is the most important job a man willdo . We do our Best, and that includes Loving the mother, for better or for worse. I get one may not tolerate living with her, but , you now have obligations, so, it is ,what it is, So, time to Grow up,Dad.It is an issue a guy ,who is a Dad, must do, to be a Man.

I Don't have all the answers,but, below are 2 articles, that disucss some of these issues. Read & Learn.

Bill Swann D.O.


"The best thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother."
by Beth McHugh | More from this Blogger
25 OCT 2006 12:53 AM
I was talking recently to a very dear friend who dropped this pearl of wisdom into the conversation: "The best thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother."
The friend couldn't remember where she had heard this saying, but it didn't matter. The wisdom in these few words is both concise and profound. Think about that sentence again: "The best thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother."
Really, in terms of the bigger picture, this says it all. In loving the mother, he will, by definition, love the child. Yet in loving the mother, he also sets up a profound sense of peace and stability in the child that is irreplaceable. For children who come from a stable, loving background, this may not seem of fundamental importance. That is because they have experienced the deep peace that comes from having grown up in a loving environment and know of no other way of being.
But for adult children of difficult or fractured backgrounds, the head nods in agreement. There was little sense of peace in such an upbringing. This lack of security plays out in later life. It affects relationships at school, relationships at work and, most importantly, love relationships. Not having a sense of childhood stability makes the adolescent and adult individual needy and insecure, and effectively limits their choice of suitable partners. Often children of unstable parental relationships will go on unwittingly to provide unstable homes for their own children, thus repeating the pattern.
A father who loves his children's mother also sets up a valuable template for both his sons and his daughters. For his sons, he displays a role model which the growing male can take as his own model for treating all the women in his life, from his mother and sisters, to his ultimate life partner.
Such a father also provides a role model for his daughters. Here the impressionable young woman can witness in the comfort of their own home all that they should expect from the men in their lives. They also learn by definition what they should not have to put up with. Having a father who loves your mother makes you more likely to go on to choose a man who will truly love you.
Finally, in giving his children this great gift, he is also demonstrating the very opposite of what some parents believe is good parenting. He is giving the intangible gift of love, not toys, gifts, and endless monetary handouts. Intangible the gift of love may be, but children soak up this invisible commodity like candy. They love it, because they inherently know it is what they need to thrive.
So fathers, show your children that you love their mother. Be as demonstrative as you know how. Stand next to her as you journey through life. The trickle-down effect of loving your partner will envelop your children in a cloak of love that will shield them from much of the harshness of life and encourage them to make better life choices.
There is no greater gift that you can give your children.


Male Socialization
The Peter Pan Syndrome: Men's Failed Relationships
Dec 9, 2007 Candy Brown
This article examines the problems men have in their relationships, particularly with women because of society's perception of appropriate masculine behavior.



Studies show that society holds basic generalities about young boys. Boys receive tools, bats, fishing rods, trucks and cars. They are cuddled less, and taught to repress their vulnerable feelings. Boys are encouraged to express aggression and expected to succeed in a profession, never admitting to any need for dependence (Dickstein, 1988).
Within the past 20 years, men have fallen apart emotionally due to broken relationships. The lack of socialization training has contributed to the deficient skills men have to communicate their feelings and express their anger constructively. Men often experience a sense of helplessness in their insufficient ability to cope and express vulnerable emotions; as a result, they become violent in how they communicate and in their behaviors.
The Peter Pan Syndrome
“The little boy who does not want to grow up”
Dan Kiley
Dan Kiley authored the book, The Peter Pan Syndrome (1983). Based on research of the effects of male socialization on relationships, Kiley developed the clinical diagnosis of the Peter Pan Syndrome. Males diagnosed with having this syndrome exhibit the following psychological traits:

Emotions become paralyzed and exaggerated
• Anger turns into rage
• Joy turns into hysteria
• Disappointment develops into depression or self-pity
How the Peter Pan Syndrome Affects Men’s Lives
Males diagnosed with this syndrome
• Have difficulty expressing love
• Refuse to share their feelings
• Lose touch with their emotions and have no idea what they feel
• Procrastinate
• Feel guilt and have difficulty in relaxing
• Have no real connection with friends. Believes friends can only be bought
• Easily panic and feel desperately alone in their attempts to belong
The idea of apologizing for inappropriate behavior is not an option. Blame is placed on other’s shortcomings so they do not have to focus on their own limitations and vulnerabilities. Alcohol or drug abuse is used to get high in order to drown out the existence of daily life challenges.
Relationships with Parents
Men suffering from the Peter Pan Syndrome have a
• Hang up with their mother
• The anger and guilt they feel are interwoven, masking their conflicted feelings for the mother
• The relationship with the father is estranged
• They believe that the father’s love and approval are unobtainable
• Have problems with authority figures
• Tend to be emotionally immature
• Exhibit silly behavior
• Have a macho attitude that hides their deep inner insecurities in attempts to hide the fear of rejection
Relationships with Women
When the male forms attachment with a woman they
• Become extremely jealous and exhibit violent outbursts
• Become easily provoked to fits of rage when a woman asserts any independence
A woman’s dependency is important for the male to feel protective of the woman. The fear of impotency and rejection contributes to verbally abusive behavior. The male strives to patronize the woman and appear strong and assertive when actually, feels threatened by the woman’s independence. The fear of appearing weak and unmanly in front of friends causes the male to deny any desire to share their own sensitivity with women.


Read more at Suite101: Male Socialization: The Peter Pan Syndrome: Men's Failed Relationships http://emotional-verbal-abuse.suite101.com/article.cfm/male_socialization#ixzz0bb5PV0Bx